It's been made much more difficult by my eldest brother (he's bipolar and narcissistic) who's been estranged for over ten years suddenly appear and becoming obessive and demanding over mum's will before she's even buried. I've also somewho been roped into doing a wake at the house. I'm dreading this more than the funeral. There will be quite a few people I've never met as people from my stepdad's school days were invited (brother used an old xmas list to inform people). My mum became very isolated in the last few years partly due to paranoia about people when previously she'd be a very socialable person.
I hate 'parties' and I'm an introvert, last thing I want is going round distant family (mum was only child, there's some distant cousins but that's it) members and trying to keep on a brave face. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted.
My other brother doesn't want a wake. I don't want to play hostess. My stepdad has severe mobility and memory problems and is actually going to the memory clinic but he's switched off - he's not remotely interested in mum's death, her funeral or her - he's completly apethic about everyone and everything. I've got people who don't want this or that, one family member doesn't want to sit in limo with another, it's like a bunch of toddlers.
I just want to sleep but I can't because somehow I'm the one that has to organise everything. I'm partly dreading the wake because the wake for my younger sister's funeral eight years ago was awful - nothing 'bad' happened but mum got sick and disappered to her bedroom, everyone kept telling me it was my job/duty to look after mum from now on, and eldest brother got drunk and started boasting about how 'awesome' he was. I have some friends coming thank god, but I'm also worried people will linger and not leave.
Any advice/survival tips?
